Arielle is starting to put on shows for us which brings back memories of when I was a kid, when I put on shows for my uncles and aunties. I remember though this one time that I made my little cousins do the show while I directed everything.(Lol… yes remember that Krystle?!)

Hehehe anyway, Arielle last night put on a show where her pony was the star. She made it jump over a stick, prance around, do ballet, and my very favourite… made it come to her when she made a special gesture.

I wonder when the girls will start asking daddy for a Pony… and I wonder what he would say when he is faced this little face if he says NO.

Its school holidays… what can we do? What can we do?? Make Jelly!! All sorts! It doesn’t involve too much brain work, and well, not much cleaning up either.

Red, orange and green!

One NOT so bored anymore 4 yr old. YAY!

As a mother, you always want the best for your child, and when it comes to MILK, you are told “Breast is Best”. It boosts your newborn’s immune system, all the nutrients are there, all the water she needs is there, and its convenient. No bottles to sterilise, no need to check the temperature, and no need to worry about how much to feed her.

Every mother has a different experience when it comes to breast feeding. Even with each child, the experience is different. What I know most is that you’re meant to enjoy the experience, and it is meant to be a positive one. So far in the past 20 days of my breast feeding experience, it has not been quite as positive.

While in hospital, Charlotte had not put on weight on her 2nd weigh in. She was then introduced to a few replacement formula milk. It was thought that my milk had not come in yet but when I expressed, I was able to get out a good 60mls, and so it came down to Charlotte. We had troubles with her attachment and she kept falling asleep on the breast and she was feeding on the boobs for abit over 1 hr. So to push her weight gain, I expressed milk and fed her from the bottle.

When we got home, I thought that expressing was a great idea. Afterall, I had all the gadgets to get milk out. I have an AVENT manual pump. It was great for the first fews days at home but after a week it went downhill. Charlotte fed for 30 mins on the bottle because she kept falling asleep. It took a good 15 mins or more to burp her, and it took me about 20 mins to express. Then I had to make sure I cleaned, washed, and sterilised the pump and bottles, and doing this every 3 hours, I only managed to get around 1 hour sleep between each feed, it was really taking a toll on me emotionally and physically. Each time I expressed, it felt so unnatural and mechanical. There was definitely no bonding experience by the time I fed her.

Each morning however, I persisted with feeding her from the breast. But each time, it was like a struggle between me and her. It was like we were fighting. She’d attach and then pull away. Attach and then pull away, and I felt so rejected. I was physically tired from “forcing” onto the boob, and this really … crap! So we began with a few feeds on the formula and it was helpful. I was able to get some rest while someone else fed and burped her, but I was feeling so guilty and torn that she was not drinking breast milk. In particular, with the swine flu crap that has been happening, I was really torn and it was really doing my head in that she was partly on formula. So as much as it was helping, I was constantly worried and unsure.

Anyway, when we saw the maternal nurse, she had a look at Charlotte’s tongue and suggested that perhaps, her small tongue tie was affecting her attachment. This was a relief to hear. “Its not my fault then”, I thought and well once we get this tongue business sorted with, we can go back to breast feeding. We had it cut, and she attached beautifully a few hours later. YIPPEEE!! … Not quite. Because I had already slowed down my production of milk from the formula replacements, I was not making enough milk, or so it seemed like it. After a good 20 mins on each breast, Charlotte would still be crying, hungry for more milk, and we still had to top her up with formula. I tried expressing just so see how my milk flow was, and first I expressed 50mls, and then at the next, only 20. This was devastating. I tried massaging, I drank a crazy amount of Fernugreek tea, I tried getting her on the breast more often. Still… not much milk. THIS FEELS CRAP. Its like I just can’t satisfy her. She wasn’t sleeping well because she seemed constantly hungry and was feeding almost every 2 hours if I didn’t top her up with formula milk. I couldn’t help topping her up, because even when I put her on the breast, she’d suck and then get agro and frustrated not getting anything for it. Then she’d cry… and so would I.

Now she’s on the breast at every 3 hours which is encouraging, that perhaps, my milk is increasing. BUT… now… I think I have thrush. The pain in my breasts is unbearable, like I’m passing razors through my nipples, when she first attaches and also during, and even after. Its seriously worse than labour. I can’t handle it. The pain, the emotion, the guilt, the worry… Sorry Charlotte, but for my sake and your sake, I don’t think I will be breast feeding anymore.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was afraid that the age gap between Arielle’s age and Charlotte would be too big of a gap. Whether they will be best of friends when they grow up, we won’t know till later, but for now, she is really proving to be such an excellent Big Sister. She surely looks like she’s really enjoying the role.

She’s a real big help too. She helps to rinse the bottles… she’ll fetch toys to distract her from crying…

she’ll grab towels when Charlotte chunders… She’ll get that extra blanket when Charlotte is cold…

And her favourite… is to feed Charlotte. Its so cute, especially when every 2 minutes, Arielle will ask “Does she need to burp now?”

I love babies, and ofcoarse I love my children. Yes I love Charlotte… BUT seriously…

First she takes over 9 months of my life. Deprives me of sleep before she even comes along, takes over my body and transform it into a walking giant jellybean, and then dictates what clothes I wear.

Then she comes along, rips more sleep form me from right under our noses… takes ownership over my boobs and dictates when I eat and sleep.

She takes over my cupboards…

She hogs the bathroom…

…she over-works not only me, but the poor washing machine…

…but what’s the worse?? She has now hijacked my pillow! Because she’s abit of a chunder-baby, I’ve had to prop her up while she sleeps and make sure the milk settles DOWNWARDS into her tummy.

It has now been two weeks since little Charlotte has been… out, and we are just beginning to settle into a routine. She feeds every 3-4 hours, yes and even through the night. Her jaundice has cleared up which means that I can start stretching out her night feeds. We haven’t yet begun that considering her temporary cot is right next to our beds, so when she cries, I can’t help but get out and service her. Feeding her with a warm bottle of milk gets her back into a deep sleep and within 20 minutes from waking, she’s out cold, drunk with milk.

I have somewhat been well rested. All thanks to my wonderful family, and super husband, Dave. My family does all the cooking, hang out the washing, do the dishes and pretty much all the homely things. Super Dave has been that big support, emotionally and also been doing the diapers (kinda).

He also handles Arielle. He makes sure she’s fed, changed, and ready for school, and while she was sick, he was monitoring her temperature and played Doctor Dad. When I was tired, he’d watch over Charlotte making sure that I had some peace to sleep. When I was feeling the blues, he’d cuddle me and see me through the tears and assured me. He also enforced my sleeping, making sure that when there was a time to take a nap, I had to nap (which kinda also didn’t work since I downloaded StoneLoops on my iPhone).

Today, he’s back at work so I’m flying solo. So far… so good but I am certainly missing him - we all are. Dave, I love you so much and thank you so much and  …come home soon!

I just love surprises, and if it was not enough to have a bundle of joy come on an unexpecting day, I received a very loving surprise from the team at NuffNang.  The darling Ming, co-founder of Nuffnang and his team of nuffies sent snail mail package to our place… and it was SOOO exciting and unexpected. I was so excited that I was naughty enough to handle a stanley knife to cut the box opened while holding Charlotte in the other arm, and balancing her milk bottle carefully so that she didn’t suck air. Super Multi-tasking…

Thank you SO SO much Nuffies! It made me cry as it came at a very good timing to lift my spirits. Was going through mini baby blues from all the lack of sleep and having to also manage a sicky Arielle and her tantrums. So I would like you guys to know that I greatly appreciate it, and that the gesture was really God’s answer to my prayers for alittle encouragement.

Above: Haha, she was sleeping when I got the gifts and I was tempted to wake her and dress her in them… but I didn’t.

All hugs and kisses!

Once again… Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Naming your child is a very difficult thing to do, and there is a lot of pressure to get it right. Afterall, it sticks with them for their whole life. Unless ofcoarse they in their adulthood decide to change it themselves to something like Princess Consuela Bananna Hammock. So naming Baby #2 was rather stressful.

How we came to the decision? Well…

I think that a name and its meaning can be very reflective upon how a person may turn out to be like. Arielle, means “Lioness of God”. Its a pretty name, with strong meaning to it (but there’s also a story behind how we came up with that name which may be in a up coming post). We wanted something similar or as strong in its meaning for Baby #2 so I went through 4 baby books to look for the right one.

Many people suggest many names, all ending with “…elle”, so that we can keep with the theme. But I’m not up with that. Say why should child #1 dictate what all our children’s names should be, and afterall, this baby will be its own individual, why blend them in? I wanted something that was unique in their own right - so that ruled out many of the very pretty names like Giselle, Isabelle, Danielle… you get my drift?

Anyway, the first name that I came across and liked was Javiera. Actually, I don’t know if I liked it more than I liked the meaning of it. It means “A new house”. When I first saw it… I thought… “Oh wouldn’t it be cool if during my pregnancy, an opportunity comes across, and WE BUY A HOUSE! That would be awesome!”. It turns out that THIS DID happen. We managed to sell our land, and we purchased a house. Soon to make it our home. All of this happened only in the last month or so in my pregnancy. Another thing too that has a strong connection to us is that Dave, without realising it, set the settlement date for the house, in the contract for the date that I found out that I was pregnant. To me, I was quite certain that this is THE name. Problem was… I never could really remember it (not good). Neither could Dave. He’d ask… ” What was that name again”… and I would have to think really hard to recall it (definitely not good if your parents cannot remember what they named you).

Another name, with much less “connection”, that was considered was Natalia. All only because we thought that it sounded nice. The meaning of it? Well, I honestly also cannot remember that, but to us…. it sounds nice.

And finally, the name Charlotte. It means “Little strong courageous woman”. All through out my pregnancy, people kept observing that I was HUGE. So the “little” part definitely called out to me :). Please God, make this a small baby to get out… The courageous part, well… it speaks for itself. Its a pretty name, feminine, strong and has a meaning that stuck. (Tick Tick).

However it was the conversation that we had during my labour that we really decided on the name. OH and there was also Juliette, which Dave and I absolutely love. However, both my mother-in-law and mother think that the name is ‘tragic’ because of Romeo and Juliet. Its hard to get them to agree on anything, and the fact that they BOTH agree on this is a big thing. SO yeh…

Anyway… conversation during labour…

G: Hey… so what are we going to call this kid that’s going to pop out?

Mum: Danielle!

G: No mum, I told you we weren’t going to name her a name that sounds too similar to Arielle. We have 3 in mind. We like Natalia.

M: Natalia? Kinda sounds like Nutella.

G: No it doesn’t.

M; Yeh all the kids at school are going to tease her… “Nutella, Nutella”

G: Hmm.. well the other one we thought of was Charlotte. But Dave’s mum thinks that its like an onion.

M: Huh??

G: You know… Shallot?

M: Oh…

G: Oh but there’s also the other name. A New house one. Dave do you remember the name? ( I knew it was Javiera but was testing to see if Dave remembered it).

D: Uh, Ja something??

G: Ok well that rules that name out. Its Javiera.

D: How do you spell that again??

G: Grrr… J.A.V.I.E.R.A. Well, fine then. Its either Nutella or… Shallot. What do you think? I like Shallot because it means strong courageous woman. I dunno what Natalia means. I think it means born on Christmas Day?

D: Oh well, Shallot it is then.

G: Shallot it is. Haha… I mean Charlotte.

My little Shallot…Charlotte.

The wait is finally over, and I’d like to introduce Baby Charlotte. If you had been following my TwEets, you’d know now that she is 1 week old! I’m doing well, and so is baby though she is alittle Jaundice… and well, with Melbourne weather, its been alittle hard to get her into the sun. Doesn’t help either that its freezing outside and I’m in confinement. Hmm… will update on her condition. Ah… chinese baby also have yellow skin problems…

Well, Baby Charlotte arrived to no surprise… when we least expected it. Our family had just had a wonderful family time together playing Taboo and indulging in wine and cheeses. Boys won… and yes “They are the more superior gender*” (*Disclaimer: only applies to Taboo … for that night!). I went to bed first, and for the first time in so many weeks, I fell asleep really soundly and without much bother. But only to be awaken… to my water breaking. It was like I’d wet my pants, and I couldn’t help it, NOR stop it. LOL… turning to Dave, it took me 3 attempts to wake Dave. He’d had one to many glasses and was obviously in deep deep drunken sleep. As he woke, I could hear that he wasn’t too sure what to do (blame it on the sudden wake-up dream state feeling, or the alcohol), I had to instruct him to call the hospital, tell them my water broke, pack the car with the bags, pass me a towel, get me a pad, get dressed, and get mum, or someone SOBER enough to drive me to the hospital. All of which, was told while I was sitting on the loo….drip drip dripping away.

The ride to the hospital seemed like it took ages, although it was literally down the road, 7 mins away. My contractions started and mum had the pedal to the metal. As I watched the spedometer rise, my heart rate went up and blood pressure went up as the petrol light lit up. We hit two red lights. BOTH I asked if we could run. We waited. OMG… we’re having a baby! Adrenaline kicks in, my heart rate continues to rise. Contraction again, this time… more intense….panic! We reached the hospital, I get out of the car… and through my controlled deep breathing, I hear Dave huffing and puffing “heee heee whooo…”. I’m thinking WTF? I’m the one having the baby and you’re the one sounding like you’re having the baby. Ring the intercom, and the automatic doors opened. Sigh of relief. I’m in good hands now.

The rest of the labour, I will skip on the details, but it was pretty standard. Contraction, pain, contemplate on pain relief, which one?, contraction, pain, contemplate epidural. Contraction, pain, asked for gas. Contraction, pain, look over to Dave and mum… BOTH asleep on the couches. BLOODY heck! Contraction, pain, OH THINK of names! Wake the sleepy heads. Contraction, pain, discussed names (look out for the next post to why and how we chose Charlotte).  Contraction, pain. Breathe. Contraction, pain. Check dialiation. 5cm… Contraction, pain. Half an hour later… PUSH… CONTRACTION… PUSH… PAAAAAIIIINNNNN…. and then… HELLO BABY CHARLOTTE.

Friends have asked what this was like, and I have now come to the conclusion that labour is like when you’ve consumed a heck alot of BAD BAD CURRY, and that with the feeling of being overly constipated… and you just HAVE TO POOP!

After a stitch here and there, and 3 hours later, I was up and walking all by myself… to my private room. 2 days later, we were lapping it up at Novotel Hotel. 2 more nights, and we’re at home… doing it solo.

Sup peoples! Lol… I feel all young and in with the GENERATION, as I NOW have a twitter account!

So … hopefully for each blow by blow when I go into labour, and if you’d like to know how or what I am doing… Come follow my on twitter! I tweet mainly from my IpHONE… so yeh…

Sorry, I’m not sure how to incorporate a button to make it automatically make you follow me but just search for me…

mrsgracelee

HANG ON!! I just figured it out! Check out my sidebar!! WOOT WOOOT!!